How Not Letting Go Hurt My Self-Esteem

I’ve long been told to let go of the things I can’t control, and I always wondered how. It’s not like I can flip a switch and suddenly not stress over the various external circumstances I’m dealing with at the time.

For years I tried to tell myself that I would just not care about that stuff. It didn’t work very well.

Only recently have I started to understand the process of letting go. My mindset used to center around the way others saw me. I would do everything based on how it looked from the outside. The problem with that line of thinking is that it neglects how I feel about myself.

I would premeditate my actions based on others and spend hours, days, or weeks worrying about them after the fact. That left no room for taking my feelings into account.

What Letting Go Looks Like

Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve changed my mindset and actions by focusing on the things that make me feel good. Of course, there are still social cues to pay attention to, but those are no longer my primary focus.

It sounds counterintuitive, but reminding myself how relatively small I am compared to the world has helped. I realized I spent all my time worrying about others who were most likely not spending much time worrying about me at all.

By focusing on myself, I’m finding more fulfillment in everyday life. Little things like watching my favorite shows or letting my hair get messed up in the wind are suddenly a judgment-free zone. The truth is, they always have been. I’m just now seeing it clearly.

Different Ways to Try Letting Go and Boost Self-Esteem

Letting go can help lower stress and boost self-esteem in several different aspects of life. Let’s take work as an example. Instead of spending time outside work hours stressing about a project or co-worker, remind yourself that those extra worries are inconsequential. Take that time to focus on yourself and what you want to do. You may be surprised how it can benefit your outlook. Then, clock back in and solve the problem when the time comes. Once you solve the problem to the best of your ability, let it go.

This philosophy can translate over to all aspects of life. It can work in friendships, personal appearance, or family life. Do the things that you can control, and let the rest go.

This method has brought me a surprising amount of peace over the last few days. I recommend giving it a try and would love to hear if it’s helped you too.

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